


Even Though They're Sleeping In Your Bed, I'm Still Into You.

by lovelyagainhappily



Category: One Direction, Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gryles, Happy Ending, M/M, Other, Struggle, nic squared, possible mpreg and smut, probably sad through some of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 19:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyagainhappily/pseuds/lovelyagainhappily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick comes home to find that Harry is gone, he never knows why, and can't get a word out of him, or any of his friends. Nicco wants Nick, there's a strong lust for the man in his heart. He doesn't care about Nick & Harry's relationship, he just needs to get himself into Nick's bed. Louis loves Zayn, needs him, and wants him.  Zayn feels the same about Louis as he feels about his cigarettes. Addicted. Niall and Liam have a happy little life, other than trying to help everyone else out. Most of their nights consist of Harry crying over Nick, Louis crying over Zayn & Perrie, or Zayn crying over Louis & Eleanor. It's odd how everyone is entangled with everyone, but somehow, they all know it's going to work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Moment I knew.

"Harry?" Nick calls, shutting the flat door. Today was the day Harry was supposed to get home from the tour. "Harry?" Nick muttered again, looking down at Puppy and then stepping over Thurston's sleeping form. "Harry, are you here?" He muttered, feeling his heart sink just a bit. Harry had promised to be back today, maybe he got hurt or something. Nick slipped off his shoes, leaving them next to his wardrobe, padding into the kitchen, flicking on the kettle. He slowly checked the flat, seeing no sign that Harry was back, or had even been in the flat since he left for the extensive tour. Nick leaned against the wall, feeling his throat begin to close, and his eyes begin to tear up. Harry seemed to not want to be around anymore, what had he done to upset the younger boy so much? He pressed his palms into his eyes, slumping down, sliding down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest, feeling that too familiar submerging feeling of miserable disappointment fill his chest. 

 

He stayed in that position for a few hours, eventually falling asleep. He heard the flat door open and close, and opened one eye, sighing heavily. "Harry?" He croaked out, voice wrecked from crying. "No, love." Pixie made her way over to him, kneeling down. "He isn't here, babe." She muttered, stroking his hair softly. "Do you want a cuppa?" She stood up slowly, making her way into the kitchen, seeing the empty kettle on the burner. "Nick, you can't put an empty kettle on the burner, you know that. It ruins it." 

"I know." Nick croaked out, standing up slowly, sniffling. "Oh, my head." He groaned, putting a hand on it. He always felt extremely stuffy after crying. 

"I know babe." Pixie sighed, pulling out the other kettle from the bottom cabinet, filling it and turning it on. She walked over to Nick, hugging him gently. "You'll be okay, alright?" She rubbed his back, gently moving him towards the couch. "Do you want me to text Harry and see where he is?" Nick nodded slowly, rubbing his eyes, then his nose. "Okay." Pixie whispered, pulling out Nick's phone, sending a quick text to Harry. "Where are you?" 

"He probably won't reply." Nick muttered sadly. "He hasn't for days." Pixie frowned, rubbing Nick's shoulder. 

"Maybe he just changed his number, babe." She muttered. "Or his phone is dead or summat." 

"No." Nick said, shaking his head. "He charges his phone every-night while he sleeps and his number is only one digit away from mine, that's how he remembers mine. He wouldn't change it." 

"Nick, he loves you, you know that?" 

Nick shrugged, pulling Harry's favorite blanket over him. "He used to, I don't know about it anymore." 

Pixie sighed, leaning into him. "Okay babe. Do you want me to stay the night?" 

Nick slowly nodded, closing his eyes. "I need someone to cuddle with, haven't been sleeping well at all."

"I'll stay then." She sighed. 

After a few hours of laying on the couch and watching some weird show about fashion tips, Nick got up, making his way to the bedroom, climbing in bed, curling up. Pixie followed, laying next to him, cuddling him in a platonic way, almost like an older sister.  "It'll all work out, Grim." She muttered to the almost asleep man, stroking his hair softly. She kept an eye on him and his phone, waiting for a text from Harry. She fell asleep before a text ever came back. When Nick woke up, Pixie was laying on her back, typing something out on Nick's phone. "Who's Nicco?" She muttered, looking over at him. Nick just groaned, rolling on his side and muttering something that made no sense. He opened his eyes, looking down at Puppy, lying on the floor with one of Harry's boots. "Where'd you get that?" Nick instantly questioned the dog, jumping up, pulling it away from her. "Puppy!" He shouted. "Tell me!" Pixie looked over at him, sighing. 

"She's a dog, Nicholas, she can't tell you." Pixie almost chuckled, sighing. 

"I don't care." Nick frowned. "Did Harry text back?" He got down on the floor, petting Puppy. "Show me where you got this." He said, rubbing the boot against her nose gently. 

"No." Pixie muttered. "At least, not yet."

Nick shrugged, following Puppy around the house, then back under the bed, seeing Harry's duffle. "What the fuck?" Nick muttered, pulling it out and setting it on the bed. "Pix, Harry's been here. This is what he took on tour." He whispered, unzipping it, seeing all of Harry's clothes from tour still there. "Oh." He almost broke down again, sniffing them. "Yeah." He swallowed. "These probably he just wore yesterday." He sat on the bed, gently unpacking the bag. "Where is he then?" He wiped his nose, sniffling and looking at Pixie. 

"Maybe he just dropped it off, Nick. Has he seen your phone? Cause if I were him, and I saw these texts from this Nicco guy, I'd leave too." 

Nick frowned, shaking his head. "Pixie, I'm not with Nicco. At all. He just like.." Nick shook his head. "He thinks that I want to fuck him or something, and I don't want to." Pixie shook her head, sighing heavily. She got up, heading out into the living room. "Pix, are you leaving?" He muttered, following after her. 

"No." She said. "I'm not, but we are." 

Nick furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're going to go figure out where Harry is. Because I know you love him, and are gonna go crazy without him." 

Nick nodded. "Okay, let me shower and do my hair first." 

Pixie laughed. "Okay, mr. I take no time to get ready in the morning." 

Nick rolled his eyes. "I take some time. And I never said that." He laughed. "Now shut up, I'm gonna go get ready, so shut the fuck up." He laughed, scurrying off to the bathroom.

"Okay, Babe, I'm gonna go get us brekkie from the cafè down the street." She called, heading out of the flat. As soon as Pixie got back, Nick was rushing around the flat in a towel, hair dried and styled, but he was still completely naked other than a measly towel. "Hold on!" He screamed, shutting the bedroom door frantically. "Hold on!" He called again, pulling on some pants and then jeans. "Just a moment!" He said, words sounding like he was out of breath.

"Nick!" Pixie sighed. "I can wait, don't rush." Ten seconds after the words left her mouth, Nick slung the bedroom door open, waltzing out of the room, grabbing the coffee from her and the breakfast sandwich. "Thanks babe." He smiled, pecking Pix's cheek. "Now let's go, I really need to find Harry. We probably should check Zayn and Lou's flat first, then Niall and Liam's." He smiled softly, looking down at Pix. 

"Is that where he normally would go?" She muttered, taking a bite of her egg white breakfast burrito. 

"Yeah." Nick nodded. "Probably there or Lou and Tom's house." He shrugged, biting his lip.

"Well, we're gonna check everywhere he would go, and then we'll call all the hotels in L.A." She teased, nudging Nick.

_"Heey."_   Nick whined, chuckling some himself. "That's nothing to be joking about, we might after to do that." 

"I know!" She exclaimed, shaking her head. 

Nick sighed, hopping in a taxi with Pix, giving the driver Zayn and Lou's address. After a minor taxi ride, they slid out, going up the stairs to the flat, sighing and ringing the bell a few times. "Zayn, let me in." Nick buzzed, groaning. "I need to find Harry, please." He knocked again, leaning against the door. "Zayn, please." 

"No." Louis' harsh voice rang back through the buzzer speaker. "You can't come up, Grimshaw." Nick crossed his arms upon hearing this, frowning and staring back at the buzzer, almost glaring. 

"Louis." He pleaded, sadly. "Please, I need to know if he's alright.' 

"No." Louis said coldly. "You can't come up. Leave." 

"Lou-"

"No, Nicholas, leave,  _now._ "

Nicholas sighed, knowing that he never could win an argument and got back into the taxi, leaning back against the seat, buckling his seat belt, leaning on Pixie. "I give up." He was about to cry again, holding onto her tightly. "I give up, Pix. He doesn't want me anymore and I know it." He sniffled, going to wipe his nose on her shoulder. She grabbed his nose. 

"Don't you dare wipe your nose on my sleeve, and you know he does love you, and just because Louis is being a prick means absolutely nothing, you know he's always that way. We'll find Harry, babe, please don't worry about it."

"Okay." Nick muttered again, staring out the window. "I just wish this was simpler. I don't know why we fight so much, is it my fault?" He pouted, picking at his faded jeans. "Am I not good enough for him? Do I talk too much? Do I cuss too much? Do I need to quit smoking? Does he not like my dogs? I just need to know, Pixie!" He slumped, rubbing his face, feeling and looking defeated. "I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or anything!" He moaned, rubbing his eyes and sighing heavily. 

"Nicholas, ask him those things, not me. I can't answer for him." Nick nodded slowly, closing his eyes, giving Niall and Liam's address to the driver, waiting through the drive again, praying that one of them would be kind enough to let him in, and at least give him a clue to where Harry was. He was worried about the younger boy, and missed him. He just wanted him to be in his arms and safe. He always worried when Harry was on tour, but when he didn't come back to the flat, his anxiety went through the roof. 

He got out at the address, knocking on the door. "Hello?" Niall opened the door, cracking it a bit. 

"Hey." Nick smiled softly. "Um, can I come in? I'm looking for Harry." 

"Oh, you can come in, but he isn't here mate."

"He isn't?" Nick frowned. "Well, have you heard from him because he won't reply to my texts, and I.." Nick bit his lip, shaking his head. "He left his duffle at my flat, but wasn't there when I got home from work, and he promised me a couple weeks about that he would be home when he got back from tour." Nick paused, clicking his tongue. "I don't need to come in if he isn't here, but do you have any idea where he is?"

"No, mate, sorry." Niall shrugged. "I've gotten texts from him, but I have no bloody idea where he is, see you then." Niall shut the door, locking it promptly. 

"Oh." Nick muttered, looking at the ground. "None of them seem to want to talk to me." He muttered, getting back in the taxi, waiting to go to Lou and Tom's, grabbing his phone from Pix, texting Harry. "Haz, I'm really worried about you, would you please reply to my texts so that I at least know that you're alive. I know that you're back, stupid. I saw your duffle. Puppy got your shoe. I cried last night. Please just, I'm scared, and sad." He looked at the text, finger shaking before he pressed send. He got a reply right before they got out at Lou and Tom's. 

"Reply." Nick eyed the text, frowning slightly, sighing heavily and getting out, locking his phone, slipping it into his pocket, standing outside of Lou and Tom's. He knocked quickly, ringing the bell once. Tom opened the door, Lux in his arms. "Hi Lux." Nick smiled, waving softly at the little girl. "Hey Tom, have you heard from Harry?" He muttered, licking his lips.

"Yeah." Tom nodded. "He was over last night. Why, man?"

"Cause." Nick frowned. "He just now replied to my texts from like, days ago, and he wasn't at the flat at all." 

"Oh." Tom sighed. "He said he was going to his mum, and that you knew."

"No, I didn't know." Nick muttered, looking down. 

"Maybe you should let him come back to the flat on his own time then."

"Yeah." Nick swallowed. "Maybe I should, thanks." He walked off, not getting in the taxi, needing to clear his mind. Why would Harry go somewhere without telling him? What did he do? Nick sighed heavily, walking over to the park by Tom's and Lou's house, sitting down on a bench, pulling out a cigarette, lighting it and pulling out his phone. "Why did you go to your mum's without telling me?" Nick texted Harry, frowning deeply, feeling extremely upset.

"Because." Harry texted replied, almost immediately.

"Because isn't a reason, Harold."

"You need a reason? Maybe sleeping with another guy while I'm on tour is a good enough reason, you dickhead."

"Harry! I'm not sleeping with him, and you know it. You know I love you."

"No I don't. I know you are sleeping with him. If you weren't why would he text you that stuff?"

"Because, he likes me, but I hate him." 

"Oh, come off it. You two have been papped. Just fuck off."

"No, I love you." 

After that, Nick never got a reply back, just sitting in the park, smoking and feeling sad. After a few hours, Pixie made him get up and go home, but she left, knowing he probably needed to be alone that night. A few hours after Pixie left, Nick was curled up, lying down on the couch, wrapped in his and Harry's blanket, watching British-bake off. The flat door opened, Nick looking down to it, noticing Puppy rush over. 


	2. You're In My Blood and In My Veins.

"Hi." Gemma muttered, kneeling down, petting Puppy.  Nick's head whipped up at the voice and he sat up on the couch, almost instanteously. "Gemma?" He muttered, eyes still sleep-filled. "What're you doing here, how'd you get in?" 

"Hey Nick." She smiled softly. "Harry wanted me to come get his stuff." She said sadly, holding up the key that Nick had given to Harry. "Do you want to explain everything to me? Cause I know you wouldn't cheat on him, but he doesn't seem to know that, and I'm not sure why." She paused, sitting on the edge of the couch. "I should hate you, because Harry's upset over you, but I know that he's just being an idiot, and you two are both in love. And I'm not going to take his stuff for him, I really just came over to check on my brother-in-law." She muttered, eyeing Nick. 

"I'm not your brother in law, but he is being stupid." Nick sighed, twirling the loose yarn off of the sweater-knit style blanket in between his fingers. "I just." Nick swallowed, pausing and choosing his words carefully. "Nicco is a model. Before Harry and I..you know, got together-" He shrugged, glancing down, almost like a guilty child, even though he was more just saddened. "We just, had a bit of a fling, Nicco and I. He's a big jerk, and I should've blocked his number ages ago. And I blocked it once, but he changed it." Nick swallowed roughly. "I..I really don't think I can function without Harry anymore, and maybe that sounds clichè-" He took a shaky, sniveling breath and rubbed his fingers together. "And it probably sounds really dramatic, but, Gem..He's my whole life. I wake up every morning and make two mugs of tea. I get two pieces of toast, and make two eggs. Even though I can't cook anything but a piece of toast and eggs." He chuckled, voice about to break. "Cause it's all he taught me to make."

"Nick." Gemma gently reached out, stroking his arm, rubbing her thumb against it gently. "I know you need him, okay, dear?" She nodded slowly. "And I know he needs you. And I also know that you did nothing wrong, at all. But you know that I can't make Harry do something he doesn't want to do. None of us can." She bit her lip. "So you might just have to learn to live without him. And he might move on. I hope he doesn't, because I really like you. And I think that you two are an amazing couple, but I can't make you two..I can't fix this."

Nick nodded slowly. "I know you can't." He muttered. "Only I can, but I know I should give him space first." He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "You can go on and grab his toothbrush and whatever else he needs, but at least leave me a jumper." 

"Okay." She nodeed, getting up slowly, moving around the flat to gather Harry's things. Nick laid on the couch, cuddling with Puppy and Thurston, something he never did without Harry. Puppy whined, licking Nick's face. "Ew." Nick muttered, wiping his cheek, patting Puppy. "Um, thanks." He sighed, closing his eyes softly, pulling the blanket up around him, nuzzling into the couch. Gemma came out of the bathroom eventually, holding a small sized tote, full of Harry's hair product and things. "See ya." Nick croaked, tracing the anchor on his hand, thinking about Harry.

"Good Night." Gemma smiled softly, opening the door. "Get rest if you can, Nick. I'm sure Harry will be here in the morning to get his stuff, and he'll probably be pissed, so, be ready for that." Nick nodded slowly, sighing and looking back at the tv, seeing some cooking show was now on. He flicked the television off, standing up and sauntering over to the front door, locking it and then heading off to bed. Nick flopped on his bed, huffing and whining into his pillow. "I just miss you." He muttered to himself, breathing shakily. "And everyone is going to think I'm the one that made you leave. But I didn't do anything." He shook, grabbing the sheets. " _Harry._ " He breathed, crying into the sheets, eventually falling asleep, cheeks stained with tears.

"Morning, beautiful." Nick heard. "Huh?" He muttered, slowly opening his eyes. "Harry?" He muttered, reaching out for the boy, who was smiling down at him. "Yeah, Hi." Harry giggled, eyeing Nick, confusedly. "Why're you acting so weird, Nicky?" He played with Nick's messy morning hair. "I-' Nick shook his head, curling into Harry, who was warm. "I missed you so much." Nick muttered sleepily, rubbing his hand along Harry's side. "Oh, I missed you too, I guess?" Harry chuckled, stroking Nick's cheek, giggling. "You're so adorable in the morning, beautiful." Harry whispered, kissing Nick's nose, gingerly. "Am I?" Nick said, voice a bit rough. "Yeah." Harry smiled, humming softly, rubbing his enduring, thin fingers along Nick's back, making the older man get goosebumps. Nick giggled, shivering. "Quit that." He muttered, pecking Harry, yawning and closing his eyes again.

Nick opened his eyes a few seconds later, and Harry was next to him, but he wasn't himself anymore. His pale cheeks were sunken in and feeble looking, his eyes were consumed with exhaustion and bleak misery. His once plump, pink, pleasing lips were now dull, and pale with broken skin. "Hey." Harry's powerless voice sighed, his bony, pointed fingers reaching for Nick's. He was now cold, fingernails almost purple. "You look.." He wheezed, holding his chest. "You look beautiful when you sleep." He sniffled. "I'll miss that in a few months." He leaned into Nick, too weak to even support the weight of his own head. Nick instantly flinched away, looking at Harry, fearfully. "Wha...What?" He muttered, swallowing roughly and jumping off the bed. "Harry..I.." 

"What?" Harry muttered, eyes filling with tears. "Nicky, it's me.." He coughed roughly, grabbing his chest again, wheezing. His cough slowly became worse. Eventually, he was wheezing, to the point his lips were blue, and he was drooling. "Nick." He wheezed out, reaching for Nick, hand purple. "No.." Nick muttered, shaking his head, backing out of the room, not knowing what to do. "No, No, No." He muttered, covering his eyes. He shook, sliding down the wall, sobbing loudly. 

Nick sat up, cool sweat running down the back of his neck, he was shaking, wiping his face that was wet with tears. "No." He muttered, shaking and grabbing his phone, texting Harry quickly. "Harry are you okay?" He tapped it out, rapidly, eyes blurred from the tears. "Harry." He texted again, hands shaking. "Harry please reply, I'm so scared, please, please, please." He sent, jumping up and looking around the room, trying to find Puppy. "Puppy?" He called, swallowing roughly. He heard a soft ding, letting his breathing slow. He looked around the room, going to his phone, eyeing it. "No new texts." The bright screen read. He looked around. "Puppy!" He called again. "Thurston?" He eyed the rooms, heading into the adjoined bathroom, seeing no signs of the dogs, or Harry. 

He heard a loud yap from Puppy, coming from the living room. "Puppy?" He almost rushed in, seeing Harry on the couch, petting Puppy. "Got your texts." He muttered, phone on the couch, laying next to his leg. "Harry?" Nick said, shakily walking over. "You're not gonna die on me, are you?" He said, fear and mourning in his voice. Harry looked up at him, the hard expression on his face quickly fading. "What?" He got up slowly. "Nicholas, why would I die?" He swallowed softly, biting his lip. "Cause you did." Nick croaked, brows furrowing in pain. "No I didn't." Harry frowned, reaching for Nick carefully. "Hey, um." He sighed, awkwardly. "Um, It's alright." Harry consoled him, frowning. "No." Nick sobbed, throwing himself into Harry. "You're gone, and nothing is ever okay or alright when you're gone!" He lamented, clutching at Harry's soft flannel shirt. "You're always gone and I'm always alone and sad." His jaw quivered, voice shaking. "You're.." He pulled away, swallowing and wiping his eyes quickly, sniffling. "Whatever." He muttered, clenching his jaw. "Just get your stupid shit and get out of my flat." He shook his head, making his way into the kitchen, feeling himself put walls up, not wanting Harry to ever see him hurt.

"Nick?" Harry said, tears in his own voice. "Nicholas." He breathed, taking a second to register what just happened, before rushing after him into the kitchen. "Nick." He muttered again. "Nicholas Peter." He spat. "Talk to me." Nick stood in the kitchen, facing the stove, ignoring Harry as he watched the kettle boil. "Nick." Harry almost hissed, grabbing his arm, using just enough pressure and force to turn the older man around, but not to hurt him. "Nicholas, I don't know how you ever feel. You never talk to me about your feelings, and I don't know why." He muttered. "I know it's all been sex for you before this, because you knew that when you got attached, you got hurt in the process. And I'm sorry you were raised thinking that way. And I know I told you I would fix it, and I haven't." He breathed, stroking Nick's face. "Hey, please." He swallowed. "Okay, I'll quit the band, I'll..I'll...We can.." He shook his head, looking down. "I don't know, tell me what you want." He eyed Nick, biting his lip. 

 Nick looked away, trying to turn back around. "Harry." He croaked, breathing heavily. "I want you, I just..I feel so cold, and so alone." He swallowed roughly, eyes drifiting up to meet Harry's. "I want you. I want you here, I want you in my bed, on my sofa, teaching me how to cook, showering with me, making me tea.." He licked his lip, closing his eyes. "I fucking want you, Harry Styles. Okay? I want you. I'll admit it now, now that I'm broken. I'm completely broken because of you, does it feel good?" He muttered, leaning against the counter. "I'm completely wrecked, you've torn my walls down, just like you wanted!" He hissed, hurt and sad. 

"Nick." Harry whispered, grabbing him and pulling him in for a tight hug. "You have me, you always have." He muttered softly, rubbing his back. "You have me, hush baby. I won't go on tour until you say I can." He cooed, rocking from side to side with him. "If you want me to go out and buy you millions of rings, and flowers, and whatever else, I will." He played with Nick's hair, gently. "You're my everything, you know that? And I was just hurt, and I know I scared you, and it wasn't right." He breathed into Nick's sweet-smelling hair, kissing his head. 

"Okay." Nick nodded slowly, smiling up at Harry, sniffling. "I just want you to be here. Just, let us re..regrow as a couple, and then you can go again. But maybe I'll come with you next time." He giggled, poking Harry's side. "And I'm sorry about the whole misunderstanding with Nicco." He sighed heavily. "I should have explained. Or told you." He pouted softly, biting the inside of his cheek. "Hey." Harry muttered. "We're okay, Nick. It was my fault, and Gemma told me. It's okay, yeah?" Nick nodded, "Yeah, okay. I love you." He giggled, blushing softly. "I love you too." Harry muttered, nuzzling Nick's nose. 


End file.
